AisA Academy

Setting Your Own Hoops January 21, 2011

My daughter is trying to decide whether or not to take two AP classes next year.

The work is demanding, although not particularly enriching or even of clear educational value. Yet—to take the “regular” courses is to be separated from the bright, motivated and more responsible kids in the school. Yet—the shear volume of work will make it difficult for her to have the time to let her musical creativity blossom.

The decision is hers, and it is not an easy one. What I am trying to help her do is to make the decision based on her own goals. To let her know that she can take the harder classes, and get whatever she wants to get out of them, i.e. not stress about the grades–or she can take the less challenging courses and concentrate on activities which are more meaningful for her.

The fundamental point which came to me and that I hope she can understand and accept is that school is a tool for her to help her reach the goals she sets for herself. It is not a measure of her intelligence, or competence, or worth as an individual. The grades are important only as the means to achieve what she wants to achieve in her own life.

The world is full of people who can successfully jump through hoops—-hoops that others create and set the standards for.

What the world needs more of are people capable of identifying and generating their own values. People who are able to take their own measure and ask questions like: Does school measure up to my standards, my needs, my values…rather than do I measure up to theirs.

This is not to say that external measurements are worthless, only that they must be held in the context of one’s own personal goals, values and standards.

This is one of the gifts our friend Auri gave to those who were lucky enough to know him. He not only set his own hoops, he spent his life helping others set theirs.  Gently. Lovingly. Truly an inspiration. Thanks, Auri.